A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL: RAW
I am good enough and I'm deserving of love, happiness and success.
LET’S GET INTO SOME THANGS.
First, It’s against my religion to tell y’all my business, but Respect to Da’ La!
When I started this Substack I had a hard time choosing a name for it because I really didn’t know what I wanted it to be. I know I wanted somewhere other than Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter to talk about beauty, skincare, and shopaholic tendencies – bit I also wanted a place where I culs share and connect deeper with my audience.
“Under The Skin” Felt perfect because it really encapsulates everything I want this substack to be – a personal journal of everything I love. That also includes sharing more personal antidotes about myself.
The internet can be a weird and unsafe place to share and explose yourself. I always envy those who can get on TikTok and just share their rawest moments and deepest most intrusive thoughts. I always wish that I could come on camera and share things like that, but more than ever it doesn’t always feel like a safe space to share personal antidotes and my rawest, most real emotions.
“Well why don’t you just text your Group Chat”
Well, sometimes the group chat isn’t enough – I need the validation of strangers lmfao jk jk. But I think there’s power and something special about connecting with people on shared experiences from other walks of life that have fresh perspectives who aren’t necessarily your closet friends.
2024 was one of the hardest years for me personally and professionally. I had quite a few major friendship breakups that were painful to go through at the time, but also necessary for my personal growth. One of the most sobering feelings is figuring out the people that you called close friends and confidants secretly hate you (lmfao). Its actually insane now to think about all that happened last year, but nonetheless it taught me a lot of about relationships and not letting other peoples projections of you determine your character and the way you move through life.
Fellow Diva and the internets Corporate Baddie recently said something that hit close to home recently:
Throughout my life I’ve been mischaracterized as being “mean” or being a “bitch” because of my opinionated nature, the standards and boundaries I have set for myself, and just being the virgo diva that I am lol. I’ve always felt like I was painted as the villain or an outsider in the friend group because I didn’t always go along with what the group agreed upon or how they felt.
I came to the realization that some people truly just can’t take the STAR that you are – and that’s okay! Going through this friendship breakup really made me question who I was as a person. Am I a bitch? Am I a bad friend? Am I a bad person? absolutely not. Can I be a bitch? hell fucking yeah lmao – But that does not dictate who I am as a whole. I knew these things weren’t true because of the way I showed up in these friendships, but it made me question myself not only as a friend but also as a person.
These were people that I loved and adored. Spent personal time with, traveled with, cried with, shared my trauma with and the way that friendship ended kind of triggered some abandonment issues in me and also triggered feelings of how I sometimes never feel good enough for people and that I’m not worthy of being loved or receiving compassion (childhood trauma, chile)
In a way I’m grateful for that friendship breakup. It made me confront somethings within myself that I needed to work on. I needed to work on loving myself, giving myself grace, reminding myself that I’m worthy of love, that my mistakes don’t define me and that I deserve the good things that come my way. It also allowed me to spend time + strengthen other friendships with people that love me for the complicated diva that I am.
I’m still on my “Hilling (healing) Journey” A la Whitney Rose of RHOSLC, but I’m in a much happier and peaceful space.
THINGS THAT HAVE BROUGHT ME JOY
Now that I’ve spilled my tea and my guts you divas, let’s talk abut some things that have brought me absolute joy this month!
CYKLAR BODYCARE
If you follow me on any social media platform you know how much I’ve been raving about new the body care brand CYKLAR. Cyklar is the brain child of Influencer and actress Claudia Sulewski. The Sensorial Body Washes are truly incredible. They smell like fine fragrances and are actually nourishing and packed with beneficial skincare ingredients. The scents Sacred Santal, Crescent, and Naked Neroli are my three favorite scents.
They just launched perfume oils which are Devine! Sacred Santal, Sex Musk, and Modern Patchouli are decadent and intoxicatingly good!
SHARK DEVICES
I’ve been obsessed with the Shark Cryoglow Mask and NeverChange Air Purifier. Shark recently sent over their new LED mask that also has Cryotherapy Under-Eye Cooling. Also Shark was super generous and sent me the NeverChange Air Purifier. This has been game changer for my home. I was shocked (not really) at how bad the air quality was in my home. This purifies the air and also acts as a fan to refresh the area. My allergies have been so much better since having this in my home.
CHRISTOPHER JOHN ROGERS F/W 25
My friend and genius fashion designer, Christopher John Rogers made his return to the NYFW schedule for the first time in 5 years to show his Fall/Winter 2025 runway collection. This was the highlight of the month for me. I think Chris is one of the most talented designers and I was so happy to see him come back to the runway. This collection was true to CJR’s cemented house codes: Jovial, Exuberant, Indulgent, silly, and most importably it was FUN! You can Pre-order pieces form this collection right now in CJR’s site
SEAN GARRETTE SKIN
Opening my Facial Studio Sean Garrette Skin has been one of the biggest joys for me over the past few months. I rarely say this, but i’m extremely proud of my self for making this happen. It’s been such a long time since i’ve had my own facial studio, and It’s been amazing being back in the treatment room.
STARTING SUBSTACK
Starting a substack was something that I had pondered over form quite some time. I wanted to have a new platform where I could truly build community, create, and express myself in a new way. I’ve been so grateful for the support so far and excited to grow the “Under The Skin” Community even more!
As someone who also went through a friendship breakup with someone who secretly hated me I get it - It’s spooky! Loved this and can’t wait for more!
So so so good! You changed my life and skin, can’t wait to see what else you have up your sleeve!